I laid on my bed last week trying to do things on my own. Make my own path. Walk in my own strength. Do things essentially the way I wanted them to be done, without regard for the obedience the Lord is calling me to walk in. I came to a point where I had to give up. My body literally went limp. The tension of fighting was gone. I came to a place of saying, "Lord, I surrender. I want to choose to walk on your path and in your strength." Even when I don't understand or see where I'm going in this season, "I'll go if you want me to."
Another place of surrender tonight. This song came on Pandora and accompanied my heart so perfectly:
"If You Want Me To" By Ginny Owens from her Without Condition album.
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
