Monday, July 6, 2009

No Coincidences Here.

As many of you probably know, there are some big changes the Lord has placed on my heart and asked me to do. There is a possibility of moving to a new state, a new school, and leave friendships and pretty much my home at Ouachita. It's been what seems like forever trying to know what to do and how to make such a big change. I took steps to rush the process, but was quickly reminded I couldn't rush His timing. This is just one of the ways God is teaching me to rest in Him and trust.

I spent the 4th of July in Dallas with family and friends, and my friend drove me back to the hotel after we hung out. During many turn-arounds while trying to find it, I noticed a street named, "Buckingham." It caught my attention, but I didn't give it much thought. Last night, I was reading the first chapter of Priscilla Shirer's Discerning the Voice Of God . It all started with this statement: "He desires to make Himself known to the seeking heart." My heart wants all that He has for me, and I do not want to miss Him.

I have been praying for confirmations daily, "Lord, I need you to show me what you want me to do. Confirm things for me. I might miss it, but show me in a huge way so that I don't." I am just a child, new at hearing His voice and walking out of unbelief into a huge world of believing and trusting. I want Him to catch my attention in big ways-great revelation, signs, wonders-anything so that I know I have not missed Him. Well, I know I have not missed Him right now.

I have been in a season that pretty much every time I inquire the Lord about the fall, I feel He says, "Wait, my daughter." Still, God? "Yes." I have been waiting for almost two months now. Anytime I run ahead on my own, the Holy Spirit reminds me that I've increased my pace and have gone on without His peace or guidance.

Doubt, fear, confusion, and uncertainty have plagued my mind. I've wondered if I'm hearing His voice correctly. Corrie Ten Boom said, "If you want to hear God's voice clearly and you are uncertain, then remain in His presence until He changes this uncertainty. Often much can happen during this waiting on the Lord. Sometimes He changes pride into humility; doubt into faith and peace; sometimes lust into purity. The Lord can and will do it." He has changed uncertainty into certainty and doubt into faith and peace.

Shirer talks about Habakkuk and his being prepared to wait for the answers. Habakkuk said "I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; and I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me, and how I may reply when I am reproved" (Habakkuk 2:1).
This is where she mentions Buckingham Palace. I would not have paid the reference to it had she stopped with the mention of the palace, but she didn't.

She mentions that the words "stand" and "station" are military terms. Habakkuk's use of them reminds her of the guards outside of the Buckingham Palace--they refuse to move. No matter what happens, "they know what they've been assigned to do, and they won't allow themselves to be distracted."

It is no coincidence that I saw the Buckingham street sign in Dallas yesterday. I feel as if I am assigned a job similar to a palace guard. I am gently told to wait, and in this waiting time, I refuse to move and let anything distract me from my job. The questions from my parents have no power to distract me. Deadlines have no power to distract me. As odd as it seems to my family, I do not have to know exactly what I am to do at this time. When I've become impatient and tried to rush the process of knowing what I am going to do, He has instilled in me patience and grace. How unfamiliar patience and grace are to me, but they are my most valuable weapons at this time.